It's just a headache

During the March of 2020, whilst balancing working from home and basking in the sun of lockdown, I was getting weekly migraines and headaches that lasted all day! To be honest, working behind a screen wasn’t something I was used to, so I put a lot of it down to that. However, after taking various medications to treat the headaches, nothing was helping and I decided to contact the doctor, who recommended I go to A&E to get checked out, due to the severity and relentlessness of these headaches.

Whilst there, (and after a very unexpected rectal examination!) it was discovered that I was severely anaemic. After 2 blood transfusions, and various brain scans, they were unsure what was causing the blood loss and I was sent home on iron tablets with the hope my blood levels would continue to rise.

Once home, and continuing with work virtually, I thought it might be an idea to get my eyes tested, as this may be a factor contributing to the headaches.

Obviously trying to do anything during lockdown was a nightmare, however my opticians got me in and I was able to be looked out. Turns out I had a ‘bulging optic nerve’ and was sent back to hospital- this time eye casualty!

More brain scans were carried out and it was decided a lumbar puncture was to be administered, to check the levels in my brain. This was not a pleasant experience and I feel I may have traumatised the poor junior doctors trying to mop the sweat off my brow and thrust a sick bowl under my chin! Long story short, turns out my levels were actually fine and shortly afterwards I was sent home!

I was subsequently booked in for an endoscopy and colonoscopy, as there was still the worry of where I was losing all the blood from? Now, if you’ve ever had to have these proceedures, you will know about the dreaded Movi prep- OMG, its vile! It’s basically 4 litres of salty water designed to flush you out! I felt like I was back on an 18-30’s holiday, trying to down some dubious fishbowl concoction! To make it barely palletable, I added orange squash to it, I think mainly for aesthetic reasons if I’m honest! Anyway, once you’re over that trauma, you think you’re safe, but then it hits you- please at this point do not leave the house, that stuff exits you at the speed of light, with no warning!

So with the bowels prepped, I was ready to go. Not only is this procedure pretty grim in itself, but the big baggy backless shorts you have to wear really give it an edge, as you waddle through to the waiting room hoping your bare bum isn’t peeping out!

During the procedures, (which to be honest, the colonoscopy turned out to be the lesser evil), a mass was found in my bowel which they informed me was either Crohn’s disease or cancer! I was not expecting that, I genuinely thought if anything, it would be internal haemorrhoids from child birth. I was in shock and struggled to believe that they were my only 2 options at this stage?! Surely a healthy 33 year old women wouldn’t have bowel cancer? They must have it wrong?

I remember sitting at home starting to piece everything together, all the symptoms which I had previously disregarded as insignificant niggles, now started to build a pretty scary picture. It was an agonising wait for the results, but somehow I knew deep down what the answer was going to be.

10 days later I was asked to return to the hospital for the results. Waiting for the consultant seemed like forever and as soon as the nurse followed him in, I knew for sure it was bad news. Those 5 words will live with me forever- ‘I’m afraid it is cancer.